Andrew J. Sheldon

writer, journalist, hired gun

“Do you want to hear something my mother used to tell me?” Howard asked.

“Sure,” she said softly.

He closed his eyes and swallowed as he prepared himself to speak at what, considering his rapidly declining health, was a great length.

He started:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

The words just hung there for a moment.

“That’s beautiful,” Olivia said.

“Yeah. It’s a nice little fairy tale, isn’t it?”

 

Grant revered his son as a true sonuvabitch. For most, he elicited feelings of contempt in his blatant disregard for their well being or personal interests. He fucked with no sense of commitment and never worked for what was given to him. He was a certain breed of asshole that would eat an entire plate of fries apparently ordered for the whole table or flatulate in a crowded elevator simply because he liked the smell.

He thought his shit was ice cream and the world should eat it.

Grant saw this manifestation of freedom as a reparation for the sacrifices he had made, such as wearing a shirt and tie and working weekends and holidays, in order to provide that for his son.

Derek was a sonuvabitch, but he was Grant’s sonuvabitch. He was Grant’s gift to the world. 

And now #cats - #vh1bestdayever

Literally laughing out loud #reading Marc #Maron ‘s memoir “Attempting Normal” and eating #thai food so #spicy my nose is running. #lifeisgood #books

Literally laughing out loud #reading Marc #Maron ‘s memoir “Attempting Normal” and eating #thai food so #spicy my nose is running. #lifeisgood #books

Let’s do this #books #reading

Let’s do this #books #reading

There was a common perception to which she had constantly fallen victim: in moments of transition, she perceived herself standing in front of a closed door, her hand resting on the knob. She imagined turning it counter-clockwise, because to hell with convention. With a push it was open, and she stepped through.

Imagine the bitter taste of disappointment upon the realization that a slight geographical shift left her alone, the same unfulfilled person she had always been.

If there’s one over arching truth to it all, it’s this: tip your bartender.

A little #rainyday #painting project.

A little #rainyday #painting project.

She struggled absolutely with the issues that arose from her own human limitations. How could anyone truly know anyone else intimately without ever having known themselves? The years had places a dam in the synapses of her brain. The block prevented her from ever being honest with herself.

How then could she be expected to be honest with other people? Was she even capable of accepting such emotional honesty in the rare instance of its offering? Where is the connection in a social climate in which people guarded themselves as though honesty were a finite resource?

He had grown so competitive every conversation was now wrought with tension. It had become a game of verbal one-upmanship of which he had begun to keep meticulous mental records. Over time this process proved to be self-defeating as he was far behind the last he checked. Still he proceeded, each conversation a Hail Mary of social desperation.

- AJS

She had thought she wanted a life of unmitigated honestly. After turning the idea over for a couple of days and studying it’s implications, she realized she wasn’t being honest with herself. Then she was gripped with a horrifying, paralyzing thought: Had she ever been?

With both parents working, Olivia was raised from an early age by movies and television to expect a certain life. By her own comparison to these images, she had felt extremely unfulfilled for what had been almost a decade. She’d recently taken up going to the mall. Not to shop, exactly. She would find and treat herself to something small to have something over her arm as to fit in, then stroll the promenade while sipping on frappuccino and watching people pass by.

She wondered what defect it was that made her incapable of loving the way others seemed to.

"She behaved the way she thought free spirits ought to behave. She never once considered the immense lack of freedom in doing something because it ought to be done."



- AJS



#existentialism in a sentence. #writing #moleskine #journal

#existentialism in a sentence. #writing #moleskine #journal